4 Common Myths of Quitting Drinking DEBUNKED
There are a few common myths of quitting drinking that kept me from getting sober for many years. Besides the fact that I thought I was "too young to have an alcohol problem", I was also paralyzed by the fear of losing friends, being judged, boredom, and failure. I want to address and debunk these myths once and for all by sharing my personal experiences.
Myth #1: I will lose friends.
I got a question that other day on Instagram asking if I still hang out with the same people now that I don't drink. My answer to this is yes and no. I'm sure you're familiar with the term, "party friends", and I, for one, had plenty of those. I relied on this arsenal of friends to go out with me when I felt like drinking, because I knew they would always be down.
When I quit drinking, I lost my "party friends" and the people who I never really had a sober conversation with. And quite frankly, I'm okay with that, because I know that my true friends have stuck by my side. It's crazy how supportive your friends/roommates/family can be. My boyfriend even did a 40-day sober streak with me after my relapse to help me get back on track (you can find my post about my relapse here).
So yes, you may lose some friends, but the friends you lose are not the ones that you want to have in your life. And to tell you the truth, I ended up losing more friends and damaging more relationships while drinking than I ever did by quitting drinking.
I promise that if you decide to give up alcohol, you will find new friends who are aligned with your goals! Since getting sober, I have met some of the most amazing, supportive, and like-minded people. Most of them have been online, but I'm looking forward to meeting them in person in the future.
Myth #2: I won't have any fun.
THIS. I was convinced that a sober life would be a boring life. I guess the best way that I can debunk this myth is with a quote by yours truly from a recent podcast episode I was on,
"I've never had more fun in life than right now. No matter how many events I thought I was having so much fun at while drunk-this is actually the most fun I've ever had. I'm fully able to feel the fun rather than just numbing it with alcohol.”
When you think about the times that you had the most fun, can you pinpoint what made them fun? Was it the alcohol you were drinking? Or was it the environment you were in and the people you were with? It can be hard to envision a fun, sober life if all you ever do for "fun" is go out with friends and drink. In reality, it's not the drinking that makes something fun, it's the situation you are in. In fact, I can think of MANY times where I actually ruined my fun (and everyone else's fun) because of my drinking.
Never in a million years did I think that I would find reading and blogging fun, but here I am. I'm slowly discovering what I like to do and what I don't like to do. I thought I was having so much fun drinking at bars, but where's the fun in something you can't remember?
Myth #3: I will be judged.
The fear of judgement from others kept me from quitting drinking for the longest time. It's frustrating how much stigma there is around substance abuse and dependency. That's one of the reasons why I started this blog. I want to prove that alcoholism knows no boundaries. It is not a disease reserved for the man under the bridge with the bottle in the paper bag. It can affect anyone, even a 22 year old, blonde, former sorority girl like myself.
I have learned that the ones who judge you about your decision are only doing so because they are insecure about their own drinking tendencies. Anyone who is your true friend, and comfortable with their own relationship with alcohol, will support your decision no matter what. At the end of the day, you are doing what is best for you and that is all that matters.
Myth #4: If I can't do it, I'm a failure.
I tried to moderate my drinking for years, and consistently failed. I tried to get sober for the first time, and failed after 35 days. I began to think that I was a failure who had fallen victim to my addiction. But then, my therapist told me something that has stuck with me ever since: "Every day sober is a win."
Every day you spend sober shows strength and determination. Every day without alcohol is a day where your body can begin to heal itself. So, even if you slip up, even if you are only able to stay sober for a few days, even if you experience a full blown relapse...never discredit your progress. You will not be a failure.
As I wrap up this post, please remember: drinking is easy. Going out with friends and numbing yourself is easy. Fitting in with society’s idea of “fun” is easy.
What’s NOT easy is giving up alcohol to better yourself. What’s not easy is facing the stigma from society because you know it will benefit you in the long run. What’s not easy is going through the withdrawals and the cravings. Society advertises alcohol as fun, classy, and sophisticated. It’s EASY to give into these messages and drink. It’s NOT easy to stay committed to sobriety, no matter what it takes.
I made such a big deal out of these myths for YEARS. Things would have been a lot different if only I knew then what I know now. If you fear giving up alcohol, I understand you. But please remember that these myths are exactly that: myths. They are not the truth.